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You pick up the phone, calm and collected, a pretty rational human being, but all that is about to change as you enter the world of automated telephone systems. We have all heard “Your call is important to us” what they should add is  “please stay on the line until it is no longer important to you!”

Will Scribe Telephone Exchange

Photo: The Guardian

To improve customer service, are they being funny?
Automated telephone systems are there to save money.
Talking to voice robots is taking over so fast,
Good old personal service is a thing of the past.

“The system will help us to redirect your call”
That’s such a big lie, for which we all fall.
Tell me one thing that is more irritating,
Than by a menu of options to be kept waiting and waiting?

After 5 minutes of choices then what do they do?
Tell you your call is now being held in queue!
“Don’t hang up”, they say, “your call is important”,
These corporate lies just get more blatant.

If your call meant so much then surely they’d choose
To personalise their service, auto systems just loose.
What if you don’t know what selection to make?
You begin to feel that your call is a fake.

Sales or service? New customer or existing?
But for my question no choices they’re listing;
When at last you’re at the front of the queue,
The reason for your call? you wish you now knew!

And don’t ask for a name, it’ll never be given,
Don’t forget this service is not customer driven:
And if you need to call back you’ll start all over again;
Automated telephone systems, they drive me insane!

All Original Writings Are Copyright Protected
© Will Scribe 2014

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