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Andrew Mitchell

The Praetorian Guard were guarding the gate,
There to protect the prime minister,
When a man with a bike approached from within,
This was clearly something quite sinister.

“You can’t bring that through here,” the Centurion said,
“It is something that is quite forbidden.”
The man with the bike said, “Don’t be absurd,
Many times through these gates I have ridden”

“You’ll not do it again, the rules have been changed,
You can no longer do what you like.”
“Please stand aside; I want to go home,
Just let me go through with my bike”

The Praetorian commander became enraged,
His authority was being challenged.
“I’ll report you,” he said to the man with the bike,
“I’ll make sure your reputation is damaged!”

“Do what you must, you silly man,
But just get out of my effing way.”
And he got on his bike and rode past the guard,
Who reported him the very next day.

In Roman times, The Praetorian Guard
Could bring down the Emperor, no joke.
A way to insult them was to call them Plebeians,
Implying they were just ordinary folk.

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© Will Scribe 2013

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